Friday, 10 July 2009

Divorce Is Not The Enemy Of Marriage!

Divorce Is Not The Enemy Of Marriage, Bad Behavior Is!

Time magazine recently released an article discussing the apparant evils of divorce. The article recounted the ill-effects of divorce upon families, children and even single Mom's.

But this writer finds neglect and oversight in the Time article, in addition to all those who write negatively of divorce.

Divorce is the final act; to say nothing of the events that lead to divorce is a major shortfall in any divorce discussion.

Without exception, every one of my clients who have chosen divorce have done so because of thier partners indifference towards them, or otherwise bad behavior that would make anyones existence intolerable.

When you are married to a person who is comfortable embarrassing you, has sex with other people, refuses to love you, is passive towards you, is numb towards you, is tranquilized against feelings, then something must be done.

The Declaration Of Independance was not born out of agreeable circumstances and mateship, but rather it was born of neglect, overbearance, persecution, abuse, tyranny and oppression; The very reasons used by many to explain their divorce. To criticize divorce while turning a blind eye to the behavior that leads to divorce is to miss the facts entirely.

And that's that.

2 comments:

Patrick J said...

I'm not one to give up at the first sign of difficulty but looking back, I should have divorced many years sooner. It was apparent that the necessary changes to continue our marriage were not going to be made.
Certainly, there is another side to this story but my perspective was that her responses to what I needed were either ignored or, the most important one to me, angered her!
Having finally pulled the plug and recovering from the shock of the death of the relationship, my life has been one of much more happiness and, yes, fun. After noticing common threads in following relationships I contacted Corey. His insight was invaluable. I am now involved in a relationship that is so amazingly easy and enjoyable.
No, divorce is not the enemy of marriage. Properly armed with the facts about myself and knowing what to look for, I am much more open to commitment and greater happiness (under the right circumstances) for both of us.
I also find that the confidence gained seems to be attractive to others. Life is good...

The Emergency Action Advisor said...

Yes Patrick, confidence in yourself is huge! Especially confidence in your ability to love, confidence in your ability to be loved and confidence in your ability to get out of your own way.

People want to be aligned with others that are confident in their ability to give and receive love.